| Minkus: | Mr. Feeny, would it be okay if I brought my wife? |
| Shawn: | Oh, come on, Minkus. What’s gonna marry you? |
| Minkus: | Topanga! |
| Minkus: | Mr. Feeny, would it be okay if I brought my wife? |
| Shawn: | Oh, come on, Minkus. What’s gonna marry you? |
| Minkus: | Topanga! |
| Mr. Feeny: | General, I’m dying for you to elaborate. |
| Cory: | What’s the point, Mr. Feeny? We all know we kicked British butt! |
| Mr. Feeny: | Winners and losers aside, General, if we do not understand history, we are doomed to repeat its mistakes. |
| Cory: | Oh, who cares about George Washington? Who cares about King George? Was every boring guy in history named George? I meant every dead boring guy. |
| Mr. Feeny: | Taxation without representation! King George? |
| Minkus: | We provide the colonists with all their finished manufactured goods. We deserve remuneration. |
| Mr. Feeny: | General Washington? |
| Cory: | Fine, keep your goods. Like we need your stinkin’ British goods. We’re American, we’re independent. We’ll get our goods from Japan! |
| Cory: | Where’s Mr. Feeny? I mean, George? |
| Mr. Feeny: | Hey Dude! Sorry I’m late! I was chillin’ with my homies. |
| Cory: | Let’s start with the roll call. Lawrence, Topanga. |
| Topanga: | I’m channeling. I will only answer to the name Hhhhmmmaaaaauuuggghhh. |
| Cory: | Okay, present, but not all here. |
| Cory: | Topanga, what are you doing? |
| Topanga: | Moving my desk out of the way. I’ve decided I would rather sit on a traditional yoga cushion. |
| Cory: | Oh, come on, Minkus! Don’t tell me you want to sit on a yogurt cushion! |
| Cory: | Okay, guys. For homework tonight, read the first 30 pages in whatever that book was that George assigned us yesterday. |
| Minkus: | But that was the assignment last night. |
| Cory: | Minkus, not long ago, I was a student myself, and I remember that sixth graders don’t always do their homework. So this way, everyone gets a second chance. |
| Minkus: | Excuse me, Mr. Hey Dude, but I did my homework. |
| Cory: | Minkus, get a life. That’s your homework assignment. Get a life. |
| Topanga: | If we’re going to eliminate the cap rule, can we also discard the dress code in its entirety? |
| Cory: | Why? You’re not thinking about showing up, like, naked tomorrow, are you? |
| Cory: | I’m your new teacher, and my name is Hey Dude. That all right with you, George? |
| Mr. Feeny: | Mi class-a es su class-a. |
| Alan: | Why does Feeny want that bike? |
| Amy: | Alan, obviously this is one of those Mr. Feeny lesson things. |
| Alan: | Well, what if the lesson is, “I want that bike!” |
| Alan: | What exactly did you two high rollers bet? |
| Cory: | Well, I put up my bike. |
| Alan: | What? I just bought you that bike. |
| Cory: | Relax, Dad. Feeny’s the one who’s gonna lose big. |
| Amy: | Yeah, what did Mr. Feeny put up against your bike? His garden weasel? |
| Amy: | Morgan, honey, I could really, really use your help in the kitchen. |
| Morgan: | Well, you’re just gonna have to be more independent because I want to stay and talk to Linda. |
| Mr. Feeny: | This week in Social Studies, we’ll be talking about prejudice. |
| Cory: | Good, because I’m prejudiced against the scungy food in the cafeteria. |
| Grandma Bernice: | Who is this guy? |
| Cory: | My teacher. |
| Grandma Bernice: | Does he give you straight A’s? |
| Cory: | No. |
| Grandma Bernice: | (to Feeny) And why not? |
| Mr. Feeny: | Have you talked to the boy? |
